


Rebellion [Lies]

by lustforlife



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Band Fic, Beginnings, Friendship, Gen, Music feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 19:32:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3220796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lustforlife/pseuds/lustforlife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I want to live so I can say I regret the dumb things I have done- not regret the things I haven't done</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rebellion [Lies]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cadkitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/gifts).



> I am terrible at summaries, as well at titles. You might have realised the latter is from [Arcade Fire's song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQvZ4N1RfS8) with the same name. At 3AM it felt appropriate.
> 
> Written as a gift for cadkitten in the 2010 jrockurisumasu exchange. Originally posted [here.](http://community.livejournal.com/jrockurisumasu/6536.html)  
> I hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I did while writing it!<3 - even though it's not exactly the usual way Die and Kyo are perceived and written but it made a whole lot of sense to me.  
> I love my friends- without you this would have been so much more difficult!<3

It's already too late or too early, Kyo isn’t too sure which one is more accurate. He is feeling slightly intoxicated - the two screwdrivers he downed didn't quite belong there. Usually, he doesn't drink, but he and Die ended up being the only ones left from a small party of five going out to celebrate; he doesn´t even think there was a proper reason, except maybe that their rehearsals has started turning better and better each time.

After they found Toshiya, the things have begun to shape up slowly to what he feels this band is all about. He himself can't pinpoint what that mean exactly, but he is definitely comfortable while holding a microphone in his hand and just voicing his thoughts out. If somebody is moved in the process, all the better..., if not, well, there's always tomorrow.

Kyo doesn't drink, but tonight he couldn't say no to Die's pleading eyes and neither to his request of "just a little longer, yes?" That was two hours ago though, and Kyo starts to squirm on the side of his bar stool, fidgeting with his empty glass.

But Die looks content, his eyes more sparkly than usual, so Kyo feels like he has to break things easier to him.

“Uhhh... Daisuke... I think...”

“Yeah, it's getting late, I noticed!” Die laughs into his empty beer. “We should get going!”

“I mean we could continue at my place if something…”

 

Kyo rubs his neck, not sure how that got out of his mouth exactly, since this is the first time he's inviting someone over. Die has never been to his place, even in their dazed states, they both realize it, and it takes a little time for the invitation to settle in.

Die seems to notice too, but his hesitation (if there ever was one) dissolves into thin air in 2 seconds. That's the time it takes him to jump lively from his chair (didn't he drink quite a respectable amount? Kyo ponders) and to pay to the bored bartender.

They walk the empty eerie but illuminated streets, talking small talk and laughing from time to time – Die is a bottomless pool of silly jokes and Kyo seems to enjoy hearing those from him, stopping only to get some water, beer and some food from convenience store.

The city scenery changes all of a sudden; the narrow gray blocks of flats leave room to a solitary street of old houses, surrounded by gardens- the houses big and solid, the gardens fluid and almost transparent.

Kyo stops in front of one gate to search for a key. Die can't help it but stare, his mouth gaping.

“You live... here? How ?....”

“I don't even know myself.” Kyo answers, smiling, while he leads his friend through the neat pathway and inside the two store building.

The hallway is high up to the roof, a massive stairway in the centre, everything softly lit with well-placed lamps. Kyo guides him to the left, passing what Die presumes is a salon. On an old armchair a huge dog snoozes and two big Siamese cats pass by them, hissing menacingly as they sense somebody foreign trespassing. Die snickers and reaches to pull at one’s tail – obviously failing.

The house has other surprises as well, including a library stretching ceiling-high on two walls and a huge see-through fish-tank that splits the room into a liquid oasis. Kyo quietly lets Die's admiring stares to take everything in.

Finally, they're in Kyo's room; Die is comfortably lounging on the only available armchair. There are snacks on a tiny table Die suspects Kyo uses for reading and beer in his hand, so he takes a look around the room- it's just like the rest of the house: high ceiling, loaded with books but littered with personal belongings, tell-taling it's owner's presence: a few dusty postcards from sunny places, white long-sleeved shirts, an old lighter, an acoustic guitar. And on the wall in front of the table, a newspaper clipping of a Kuroyume live report with a big picture of Kiyoharu is hung.

When Die's eyes linger on the picture, Kyo feels he’s blushing and he doesn’t even know why - which is embarrassing, so he turns his head slightly, but Die didn't drink that much apparently or he can carry his alcohol quite gracefully. And he smirks because he saw Kyo’s blush but decides to let it go. For now, at least.  
“So how did you end up living here anyway?” Die takes a sip from his beer and gazes up at Kyo.

After stepping into the room he seems to be more aware of Kyo than usually, the cheery atmosphere from the party before doubled by warmth that felt like it's always been there, just underneath the surface, waiting.

Kyo sticks a cassette into an old stereo and something, possibly western, comes out of the speakers. He then moves on the bed, leaning on a pillow and answers:

“I used to take a walk on this street quite often because it makes me feel like in comparison to the city it's a different place altogether. I liked this house and I kept stealing glances. Then one evening I heard somebody asking me to stop staring every time I pass by and come inside. The owner himself was taking his evening walk as well, apparently. I was so dumbfounded that he had to tell me a second time to come for a tea.”

He takes a break to light up a cigarette and continues his story:

“The man is nobility and used to be a diplomat, working for a foreign embassy after the Second World War. The stories he told me you wouldn't believe!!! Secret agent movies are nothing!!”

Another drag and then he puts out the cigarette with a determined gesture and looks Die straight into the eye.

“But I can't tell you or I'll have to kill you.” Kyo continues so seriously that Die has to do a double check to catch the meanings - and when he finally does, he bursts into a laughter so contagious that Kyo has no choice but to join him.

“My landlord's family either died or disappeared, and he's been living just with a maid and a butler. He told me himself while we had tea served in a turret in the garden. He asked me if I wanted to live at his place. I didn't even think much about it- just a short yes. It's already been 3 months. And I feel at home. Maybe it was rushed decision, but so far I'm not regretting it. I want to live, so I can say I regret the dumb things I have done- not regret the things I haven't done.

Die nods thoughtfully. Kyo's had a soft spot in his heart from the very first time they met. Tiny but broad shoulders, hair over his eyes, but when he looked up his gaze was as clear as daylight. Die doesn't know if it's quite the right moment to turn sentimental, even though all that beer sure softened the edges, even the other man looks content, lying on his bed, a cigarette in his hand, engulfing himself in the music. So he just smiles.

Kyo looks back at Die, feeling his eyes on him.

“What is it?” He asks, half amused-half nervous.

“I was just remembering the first time we met. Kiyoharu-san rushed into our rehearsal room, introduced you to us and then flew away without a word!! We were all startled, and you seemed so shy, head bowed down and warm scarf still wrapped around your neck. But then you started to sing and it was just... things clicking into place!”

Die's voice is getting a little shaky with emotion as he carries on.

“God, that last line sounded so cheesy I don't even....” He covers his face with one hand but after a second continues: “But it's as true as it gets! Maybe it's too sudden to say such things, but we may have a good thing going on in this band!”

Kyo has been silent all through Die's outburst, but not because he disagrees but because when he's not holding a microphone in his hand, he's not used to talk about himself or about how he feels. That’s began to change slowly, without him even noticing. But yes- Die was always around, smiling that smile of his, playing the clown, playing his guitar as if he was making love to it, making songs like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Now they're both silent because the moment feels complete without any more words. Suddenly, Kyo feels the need to squeeze Die's hand into his own. So he does- they're close enough and all it takes is to reach out a little. Die's hand feels comforting. After they let go, it feels like a secret convention of sorts: of trust and confidence.

The cassette makes a strange gurgled noise, startling them, so Kyo goes to check it- the tape is twisted up, requiring some handy unravelling. After a while Kyo gives up and replaces it with another one.

“Now it's really early.” Die looks through the window. In the East there's a thin line of light pushing the darkness away, moving the stars out of reach for a new day.

“I don't think we have any time for sleep,” he says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully- stubble annoying already. “I probably look like a sleeper, but if we don't show up in time Kaoru's going to find some evil legal ways to punish us and then makes us rehearse until we drop dead from exhaustion.

“Shower and then breakfast?” Kyo suggests, while mumbling something along the lines of I really admire his will but sometimes I swear he forgets we're not machines!

Die laughs and high fives Kyo.

The day starts good.


End file.
